inevitableness of fear

F     E     A     R

Fear has a mind of its own. fear is for the worst. Fear consumes the best. fear shapes & molds(me). Fear is destruction. Fear always has a shadow, fear is my own shadow. Fear can create war or determine peace. Fear can make or break. FEAR covers, even when life is at its clearest.
Fear creates afters, aftershock, afterthoughts, after hours, after.....
Fear can be rugged or sweet or simple. Fear eats away my inhibitions.

Fear Has A Way Into--->My Thoughts. Fear has words, actions and gestures. Fear is what happens next. Fear goes beyond us. beyond me. beyond you. We hide behind fear because it is easier than showing it. 

fear frightens me

Im afraid I will turn into a weightless butterfly that lands on your sweating palm. If you flinch I will spread my wings and soar before you have a chance to catch me.

[I am afraid that I will turn to ashes and you will be the inferno that singed me.] 

Mostly fear makes me afraid of me. I am afraid that one day I will wake up and the lights will be flipped on. Or maybe they will be shut off. extinguished. And I simply won't be me.

I am scared of myself. I am fearful of the things I am capable of. I could claw into your life scratching the surface as I prowl. I could pick up the pretty little vase that sits on your night stand, hold it high, and drop it. I could shatter that vase into a million pieces just like I can do with your heart.

Every second of the thought that people change panics me. You change. He changes. She changes. They change. I change. We all change. 

Im scared that you can tear through my skin to the depths of my own heart only to cauterize your damage. 

Im scared of the dark. Because at night your face is unnoticed, but your voice is loud. Im scared because 4 am knows all my secrets. & fear has a way of seeping into my secrets and spilling them. 


Try avoiding it, but it can't be done. Fear can't be avoided because it's inevitable.


I tell myself I must not fear. It is a mind-killer, a mind controller. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fears. I will permit it to pass over me, pass through me. It might be inevitable but I can choose to let it go. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. To prove that where the fear has gone there will be nothing. 

Only I will remain.